It all started on a regular Tuesday—except this Tuesday, I was on the run. Not from the law, not from a jealous ex, but from the most relentless predator known to mankind: a process server holding financial documents for my overdue debt.
I first spotted him while casually peeking through my blinds like a paranoid raccoon. He was standing outside my apartment, dressed in business casual, holding an envelope of pure doom. I knew what was in it. I knew it was for me. And I knew I had to disappear—fast.
Phase One: The Fake Roommate Trick
I cracked my door open and, using my best deep voice, growled, “Uh, yeah, he don’t live here no more. Moved to Canada. Who’s askin’?”
The process server just sighed. “Sir, I saw you looking at me through the blinds.”
Touché. I slammed the door and went to Plan B: Spontaneous Witness Protection.
Phase Two: Become Someone Else
Within minutes, I had a hoodie on, sunglasses, and a fake limp. I was no longer Greg Thompson, the guy who spent his last $12 on Taco Bell instead of paying off his debt—I was Rick Balboa, mysterious drifter with zero outstanding balances.
I snuck out the back door and made a break for it. I was halfway down the block when I heard—
“Greg.”
I turned slowly. There he was, standing right behind me like a horror movie villain, holding the dreaded envelope.
“How did you—?!” I stammered.
“You ordered DoorDash to your apartment five minutes ago.”
Damn my cravings for burritos.
And that’s how I got served my financial documents—with a side of nachos.
This blog was created by-Treyvon Bailey
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